Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has
the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for
whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian
virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Because of an excess of black bile and a deficiency of choleric humour.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Thomas de Torquemada: Give
me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across
Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth
had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross
roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual
chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously
brought such occurrences into being.
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken
found it necessary to cross the road.
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and
"road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization
of this potential occurrence.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference.
To actualize its potential.
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Out of custom and habit.
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
To die. In the rain.
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
You tell me.
Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace
the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with
the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated
to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Zeno of Elea:
To prove it could never reach the other side.